Well, it's four months since my last post. Time sure flies when life's in turmoil!
Deb and i are still together!! :)
We were going to part and had plans in place to do so, but three weeks after my time in the hospital, Deb divulged to me that she had lied about not ever having loved me. She's loved me the whole time! She told me those things because she was at her wit's end with me, basically. I's come to a point in my life where after years of not taking proactive measures to better my physical health, it was taking a toll on me mentally as well and my depression was getting deeper and darker. I'd become very withdrawn and isolated myself from friends, family and even from Deb...spending most of my time in a separate room from her. Deb had been trying to live life for two people and it was just way too much for her. She figured that if she walked out of my life, i would be forced to make changes. Well, she ended up staying and i've made changes anyway and continue to do so. Day by day, little by little...i'm doing more to take care of myself.
I've been seeing a counselor and i find that that is helping a lot. I've also been making a daily effort to get more stuff done around our apartment and i find that getting the clutter out of the way helps to clear my mind and relax my nerves. I'm knitting more. Reading more. Spending less time playing computer games alone. I do spend time on Facebook responding to things people post and playing a few games on there. But i'm not spending the up to 18 hours a day playing Second Life like i had been. I'm working on my tone when i speak to Deb...something that has been an issue for years. I'm learning to figure out which battles to wage and which ones to let go. Some days are better than others, but i do feel that i am growing as a person and Deb and i have certainly grown closer together as a couple. I now have great vision that we will make it to our 10th anniversary of our meeting and starting our relationship...this coming May!
In other news, Deb's (our) niece Katie just gave birth yesterday to a little boy. Welcome to the world Austin Michael Harris! We also found out that Katie's sister, Jen, is expecting again and is due on Sept. 11th. Must be something in the Maryland water...?
In knitting news...i've been knitting. ROFL!! I've got a few WIP's going on...I decided to continue working on the Log Cabin Style blanket that i started a while back and gift it to my Mom's Bf for Christmas...well, it's still on needles but much larger than this pic...
...i'm focused on finishing this project before i go on to finish the afghan i'm making for Deb's Mom. Yeah. that one's late too. Shhh.